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What exactly is a Family?

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Whenever we hear the word "family" it's almost guaranteed that what we have in mind are those people who we've known from birth which obviously are those that provided for us, our parents, our brothers and sisters, and all our other blood relations. Well, for the most part of my life that's what I believe "family" truly was. The notion that "family" meant only blood relation, people with the same last name, those people who society said we should rely on, was my firm opinion.

But that's not the real thing, "family" is not necessarily those in the home we've come from; it can be those that have found a way into our hearts along the way- those who may enter our lives in silence yet fill the empty spaces we never knew existed; the ones who will be present even when the world has become a too heavy burden for us to carry, those who inquire about how we are, not because we are obliged to inform them, but because they truly care; those who comprehend us even better than the ones who've known us for our entire lives.

It was during my hardest times when I found this out for sure. There were no relations that I could look up to be there for me; not that they were bad people, but because in truth, blood relations do not always ensure that a family member will be available whenever we need them, however, someone who wasn't a family to me nor thought to be one became so during that difficult time; he called me every day to ask how I was, noticed even the slightest change in my mood and made sure I wasn't drowning in my own silence.

That's the person who became the shoulder I can lean on, that "good" friend coming over without having to be asked, the "good" friend that pushes me to have care for myself when I lack the energy and strength to do so. He wasn't bound by any tie, he didn't share my surname and was certainly under no obligation whatsoever to do what he did for me, but he showed care for me which then made me realize that bond that had been created is greater than any of the bonds of my blood.

I came to learn at this point that: family is not inherited, it is earned. While one can easily inherit my DNA, not everyone could inherit my burdens; some can possess the title of family through their mere birth in the family but never be truly present whenever we needed them while some may just come and go without being part of our blood but give more to our emotional being than those we are expected to value more in life.

It is nothing peculiar because most people actually have had friends and friends alone give them emotional support when even blood relatives could not. While family relations get estranged, people divorce their kids and children as well as uncles and aunts disappear and reappear as they like- it is blood ties that may come with proximity and bonds, but not necessarily loyalty.

Actions speak louder than blood; for instance, one who takes our hand in times of difficulty, who values and prioritizes our peace, who will defend and stand up for us when need be and ask nothing in return; he/she is our true family. This kind of relation is never formed by force nor artificially.

Take a second to examine your own life and how many people you know that have been by your side through ups and downs, through every thick and thin of life, or that were present just because they wished for you well. Such people all deserve to be called "family".

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