A Feeling of Overwhelm...
Ever have one of those days where it feels like there are just so many things on your to-do list, and so many things coming up in the future, that you are overwhelmed by the situation to the point where you have become more or less immobilized?
Today was one of those days for me. Perhaps it was exacerbated a little bit by the fact that I woke up at 3:00 a.m. at the edge of having a panic attack.
Most people don't really understand panic attacks, unless they've actually experienced one themselves. In this case, it was perhaps triggered by a weird dream in which I felt like I was being encased in the concrete of one of the big fat pillars in a parking garage and I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe.
For me, the only way to deal with that sort of situation is to get up and out of bed and walk around the house for a while, in my bare feet. I don't know why it works, but getting my feet cooled off to where they're really really cold is about the only thing that can ground me.
Failing that, I will open up the freezer side of the refrigerator and let the very cold air come out and chill me out.
I'm not entirely sure why that works, but I'm just grateful that it does, strange as it may sound. I think everybody has their own individual ways of dealing with panic attacks.
Anyway, I went on to dealing with the day and the sensation of just having more to do than I could possibly hope to cope with by completely ignoring everything and instead going outside and doing a lot of fairly substantial yard work. Thankfully it was a very beautiful sunny spring day and I was grateful for that.
It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes I think breaking state is the most effective way for me to get back on track when things are not going the way I want them to, and when life seems to be serving up more at a faster rate than I can finish them.
There's no denying that the world is a messed up place at the moment, and there's also no denying that most of the messed-up-ness in the world is beyond our control. Thus, freaking out about it is not really a productive thing and yet... it's very difficult to just ignore everything.
Tomorrow I shall endeavor to return to working on my endless to-do list, starting with working on the necessary stuff to file our taxes by April 15th which is always a bit of a chore.
If I could actually afford it, I'd hire someone to do these things but the cost of having somebody do the accounting and bookkeeping for four small home businesses makes for a pretty complicated tax return that would likely cost over $1,000... that we just don't have to give to such ventures.
Of course I can usually track most of my stress back to financial worries rather than other kinds of worries. Yes, I'm worried about the condition of our roof, but mostly because we don't have $20,000 for a new one. Yes, I'm worried about doing the taxes, but mostly because there will be a hefty payment due, as well.
But that's likely what most of the world is feeling...
And, on that light note, I'm going to head off to bed. And hopefully sleep without panic attacks!
Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful Sunday!
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Created at 2026.03.22 01:27 PST
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