FICTION - Touchy


TOUCHY


The shovel relinquished its grip on the soil. The soil slipped away from the shovel, and it transferred its grip to a man's face, placed violently on his back. "That'll teach you not to touch." She knew he couldn't hear, so she spoke it the circling buzzards and the eager flies hovered above the growing mound of soil, eager for a meal. Angry, at the rapidly vanishing flesh with each shovel load of soil.

They were animalistic and desperate for a feed.

Frenzied, like her.

Her fingernails caked in muck, a manicure ruined. Her dress, ripped at the shoulder, exposing a toned shoulder and triceps, straining at the next load of soil.

She hoped her calculations were correct. In any case, he wouldn't last, given her plans. As a pharmacist, she had reckoned the dosage should be correct for a boy of his size. To call him a man would be a misnomer, with his wandering ...

The face vanished and the flies turned their attention to her. Now slick with sweat, her flesh stunk of her own guilt. Enough of the guilt was buried in the mound in front of her. Justice. A hill to die on.

She took the keys for the car. She drove it over the mound of soil, dampened by her sweat. She tore off the rest of the dress in a single movement. She opened the fuel tank. The dress went in. She took the cigarette lighter from the car. She lit a stick on fire. Naked, she dress on fire. The dress ignited. She sat in the passenger seat.

She waited.

Soon, the flame would touch her. Like he had.

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Author's Notes


*This story, too, was written as part of a timed period at an in-person writer's meetup. I stalled after the first two few lines, thinking the story could stand on its own two feet with just the following segment:

The shovel relinquished its grip on the soil. The soil slipped away from the shovel, and it transferred its grip to a man's face, placed violently on his back. "That'll teach you not to touch."

But then I had to keep expanding within the available time. This one was a very dark story.



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17 comments
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Woah, this was a dark one indeed but I enjoyed it
Female rage should not be underestimated
Wonderful writing😊👍

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Darkness is certainly my style. Maybe I should challenge myself with something more... bright? :D

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Maybe you should
I have a feeling you'll enjoy writing it

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nice, dark end to a mystery pre-story, Cleanly done actions (fire doesn't leave much), although I hear saltwater does the job as well.

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Salt water may have no been as dramatic ;)

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This piece is chilling and intense. The imagery of the shovel, the soil, and the buzzing flies really drew me into the darkness of her actions and emotions. I like how the story balances raw violence with her internal sense of justice and guilt. The ending with the fire is haunting and unforgettable.

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"I don't always kill my characters" said this guy, a few posts ago, when he totally attempted to kill the character.

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I don't. I killed two here. ... That's different. I did bring one back to life in my "Chamber" story, so there's that...

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(Edited)

Chamber? haven't seen that one... is that posted in a community?

I noticed that when I posted in a community, the post doesn't show in my feed unless I specifically set it to be that:

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make sure you do this when you post in communities (obviously it will not sat "Remove reblog" but something like "Add reblog")

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I post my stuff to my own blog as well as the community. You have already commented on that story.

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oh yeah, now I remember that one... I guess you do save some - by like a hairline - but yeah 😁💀

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Roger that, hairline fracture next :)

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I expect a beneficiary 🤘😝

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The story I wrote in the writer's meeting today was certainly not a hairline fracture...

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