RE: The day I heard my heart
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Man, that's a subject that really gets to me. I'm a hypochondriac, and one of my biggest triggers is my heart, haha. A tip for any hypochondriac: don't try to measure your pulse (on your neck or wrist) because when we're anxious, our heart tends to beat faster, which triggers even more anxiety when we notice the "flaw." It's a loop that leaves us terrified!
Of course, I'm talking about my case, it's essential to seek help and get tests done, as you did in this case! And yes, it's surreal to hear your heart beating and imagine that it's on autopilot, doing all this work to keep your body up and running nonstop! It seems so fragile, but in reality it's so well developed and so strong, it does an incredible job, sometimes for more than 70, 80, even 100 years in some cases. The body is incredible, which is why today, more than ever, I value and take care of mine. Despite certain oversights, I do the best I can! Thank you for sharing your experience. Stay strong, you have a healthy heart and will go far!
Just like when blood pressure is taken, it tends to be higher :)
It was really just the eerie whooshing sound of the ultrasound machine that got me. It abstracted life to information and that was confronting. Not sure if I articulated that well (or deeply) enough in my writing.
Writing (like life) is always a work in progress. Perhaps this is something I will revisit in the future.