FICTION: The Correspondence

The letter box was stuffed with matter. As the rain pelt down after the long drive home, I was surprised that the parcel of letters and documents wasn't just a homogeneous blob of form, a kind of paper mache impression of the interior of the structure.

I extracted the documents and took them to the kitchen table. One of them looked official, with government seals, addressed to my full legal name on the envelope. The envelope was made of recycled paper, but the contents within were on higher quality paper stock, the kind that would survive a little bit of water, or perhaps some errant tears cultivated by the government delivering bad news.

I put the other documents aside, and I then pushed my thoughts aside in a bid to focus on the text. Government letters were always a joyful experience.

Citizen!

This paper arrives to you via the glorious postal network. Our team of unskilled, unelected bureaucracy have ensured that along each step of the production of this document, nepotism and inequality have been used to elect vendors. From the land once stolen from the natives to plant pine forests, disrupting the eco system, to the horrendously inefficient stages of industry to fell the tree, the processing, the printing, the delivery have all been done at great expense.

Do not let the cost of these activities distract you from the content of this message, it only customary to acknowledge our entire supply chain, inefficiencies and all in the delivery of this piece of communique to you, and every other address in this vast, wonderful nation of ours.

Recent developments in the provision of the ink with which we use to deliver this message allows us to confer our absolute delight that we can now use twenty percent more words at only eighteen percent more cost!

You will surely agree that this is a positive development, as our small, unverified, unvalidated, and poor planned citizen opinion surveys have bemoaned the lack of government engagement.

You will find that accompanying this letter, we have provided the latest reports on governmental efficiency and righteousness. Please ensure you read these documents, as a government official will be dropping in on your home for dinner (at your expense, uninvited) at some point within the next three months. You should be prepared at all times, and study the attached material vigorously.

I turned the page.

There was a knock at the door.