RE: Trauma on trauma (and more)
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Tough question, but I don't see any signs of it.
Her work is her pride. That's her getaway.
When we dated 11 years ago (closer to 12), she felt that she didn't deserve my kindness, it made her uneasy due to trauma and she left before I could leave her.. it would hurt too much for her. Shortly after she was with someone else. This lasted for close to 11 years, with a few attempts of leaving.
She's not secretive in general, she just don't like being interrupted at work. I think she feels like that's where she has her value. She doesn't see herself as being worth very much, unfortunately. I think it's her traumas talking.. like she has been programmed to think she's not worth anything.
Anyway, this time around she is more aware of what's going on inside her. And I find strength in the fact that she has told me that the comfort she feels when she is around me is very unusual for her, and it basically makes her feel uneasy. She is learning how to be in it and stay in it. She likes the calm I bring to her system, but to her it feels like it's a trap. Like we are going to war any second.
I wish she could see through my eyes, and just... enjoy it. Which she does, but with a nagging feeling it will stop, and I will snap at her at some point.
I guess it just takes time to make her realise that this is what it is and she can relax, she can be herself without being punished.
!BBH !ALIVE !HEARTBEAT !SLOTH
Yes, it will take time. But it'll be worth it! That's my opinion based on my own experiences. I wish y'all the best!
Since the very first time I laid my eyes on her, she has been my dream girl.
In our reconnection, just over a month after we had found each other again, she told me it hurt her to think that she had lost 11 years with me. That, along with other quotes from her, makes me think that this time is our time.
I have no doubt that it will be worth it, no matter how hard this challenging time is and how long it will last.
So many signs that her and I are meant to be, despite everything we have been through.
!BBH !ALIVE !HEARTBEAT !SLOTH
One thing I do know is if it's meant to be it will be. But it requires work from both of you. Give her time yes but don't allow too much distance that it becomes the new normal. If you know what I mean.
I know what you mean. And I am very aware of that.
Thank you for your extremely valuable insights, I deeply appreciate it 🫶🏼
!BBH !ALIVE !HEARTBEAT !SLOTH
Best wishes for y'all🤗