RE: Miserable, Eternal September: A Memoir
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I'm sorry about your dad and that you had to got through this. Some people don't know how to handle kids, don't know what to do with them. It hurts, I know, but look at the bright side. At least he did not abuse you (verbally, or physically) as so many do, even these days. You need to try to let it go as nothing can change the past and he took the answers to your questions to his grave. You can't change the past, but you can change your future. They say time heals the wounds, but it's not true. It can make some wounds hurt less, but what can make you feel better is your own self. Accept it, put a lid on it and that's it. I know, easier said than done. I know.
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I got my fair share of physical education from all of my parents (my grandparents on my mother's side were the only ones who didn't participate), but the absence, as you suggest, was certainly not abuse.
I always tell people exactly what you told me here. "You can't change the past, but you can change the future" - it was a line I came up when I worked in a call centre which was always angry customers. :)
The thing that I can totally appreciate is that the causality of the events of my youth, including this one, have transformed and sculpted me into what I am today, and I think (if I may speak with hubris) - that I turned out okay. :)